


The Appearances I Keep Up

by leedonghaes



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Enlistment, Super Junior - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:44:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leedonghaes/pseuds/leedonghaes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leeteuk spends a day with many different versions of himself, and discovers what a brilliant actor he can be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Appearances I Keep Up

Today, I met a total of 5 people, and I was a total of 4 people. 

I met a fan today, and I was Leeteuk. I was taking a stroll outside early in the morning, just around my flat. I had clipped my fringe up, and I was in loose track pants. (I yawn.) Why had I come out so early? I figured I was just in need of a stretch, but my muscles were still asleep. My hands reached up to instinctively sweep my fringe away, but I remembered it was clipped. Must have gotten used to it. I kept on walking. Yesterday was tiring, I suppose.   
A familiar sound swept into my ears. Of course, no morning stroll without someone recognising me. Are you Leeteuk? I assumed that’s what she said. That’s what they all say. It took no effort at all to smile. Why yes, I am Leeteuk. She shook my hand, a familiar gesture. My eyes crinkled, the ends of my smile pushing slightly. She was saying something. I hope she didn’t notice my eyebrows furrowing slightly as I tried to concentrate on what she’s saying.  
“You’re dressed up like the Love At First Sight stage, right? So cute!”   
“Yes! You spotted it!” Wrong. It was my daily wear, but apparently, not Leeteuk’s.  
“Well, bye!” Bye.

I met Donghae today, and I was Teukie-hyung. It was early in the afternoon, and he had asked me to lunch. I looked at my watch (2 pm). Still quite early. The buzzing sound of the cafe was dreary, tiring. It was enough to put me to sleep. (It nearly did.) The door of the cafe swung open with a tickling of the door bells, and Donghae entered. He looked good. (Doesn’t he always?) His hair was parted to the side. Excessive hair parting, I thought. He was wearing a black sweater with white stripes and his signature ripped jeans. Sweater and Jeans. My favourite joke.   
Donghae doesn’t talk much, I noticed. He sat quietly and occasionally passed me some food. Of course, Donghae enjoyed quiet company the most. I looked to the window. Rain pitter-pattered onto the windows, droplets meeting and spitting and racing towards the pane. Donghae had always liked rainy days. He was leaving soon, for his enlistment. It was a remembrance of a painful truth. It stung. Suddenly, I felt rushed. Maybe I should be taking in all this, before he was gone.   
“Hyung, I should go soon.” No, don’t go yet.  
“Sure. Good luck for your next schedule!”  
“You too, Teukie-hyung.” I sighed and looked down at my half eaten croissant. Must have gotten carried away.

 

I met a trainee today, and I was Leeteuk Sunbae-nim. The glassy windows glaringly reflected light into my eyes. Goodness knows how I missed the old days where it used to be a white building with the sparkly words “SM Town”. I stepped in. The air-con blew at me from the moment I came in. It sort of reminded me of the fans screaming at me in concerts, but this was less inviting. Korea itself was cold; what more did we need? The lobby of the building seemed some-what empty. It seemed that, today, there had been no one lost or without a purpose. I sat down in the waiting area. What was I waiting for? Nothing actually. Some unfamiliar faces passed me. Irrelevant.   
Someone sat down across from me. I raised my head in curiosity. Unfamiliar. Apparently not a senior. The boy was younger than me, I could tell. A trainee. He could probably sense my eyes drilling into his head, and looked up. Recognition flickered in his eyes. Leeteuk sunbae-nim. Legendary Leader of Super Junior. Words of self-praise sounded in my mind.  
“L-Leeteuk sunbae nim! Good morning! How are you doing today?” Ninety-degree bow. Excellent.  
“It’s not morning.”  
“Sorry, sunbae-nim.” He walked away awkwardly. I sighed.

I met my manager today, and I was Jungsu. The car was moving through the evening rush. The rhythm of the moving car (up, down, up down) was keeping me drifting in and out of a needless slumber. My manager sat beside me in the driver’s seat, talking into the phone. He always seemed to have someone to talk to, something to sort out. I wondered if I really was that troublesome. He had a very comforting presence, and I soaked it in. Maybe I was just in need of quiet company, but Donghae and him never failed to make me feel at ease.   
I snapped out of sleep again, and looked at him. He looked so tranquil, but he probably had a lot going on in his mind. Doing my behind-the-scenes work definitely was not easy. I admired how easy-going he still was. (Maybe I should be easier on the members too.) I wanted to ask how he was doing, how his day had been, how he felt. But those questions were for Leeteuk to ask people on shows. Jungsu would just seem nosy. I decided not to.  
“Jungsu, we’re here.”  
“Thanks, hyung. I’ll get going now.”   
“Good luck.” And I was Leeteuk again. 

I met Hyukjae today, and I was (once again) Teukie-hyung. I stepped out of the shower when I heard my doorbell ringing. Who could it have been? Upon opening the door, I saw Hyukjae smiling at me, a plastic bag hanging off his arm. Drinks? Hopefully not beer. I offered him a place to sit before going off to change. When I came back, he was asleep. His head rested on his arms and his legs curled up uncomfortably under him. I sighed. (How many times did I do that today?) He looked up when he heard and smiled. He looked tired. And something else. But I’m not the best at gauging emotions.   
We sat down for a while, and he talked. He was like Donghae, but also very different. His lips were softer, his presence was softer. Donghae was quiet but bold. It was hard to miss him. But Hyukjae was less pronounced. On stage he was obnoxious and strange, but he was much easier on the soul off-camera. I sighed again. He was leaving soon too. Him, Donghae, and Siwon together. My eyes traced his face, memorising it. I felt sentimental. Did the members feel this way too when I left? Probably not. But I had always loved too hard, hung on too tight.   
“Oh… It’s getting late.” Hyukjae’s leaving now. I nod.  
“Are you leaving now?”  
“I should be. Bye, Teukie-hyung!” And I take it as practice for when he’s actually gone.

Today, I met a total of 5 people, and I was a total of 4 people. Each of these 4 people had common points. They hold back, but they also hold on too tight. They think too much, get lost in themselves.   
And they don’t want to say goodbye, but it’s the only thing they ever say.


End file.
